I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
