I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
