I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
