Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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