we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
