I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
