i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I've blown a few things in my day
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
