Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
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