One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
