sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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