It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
