Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
