sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
