I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
