Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
