He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
