I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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