So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
