Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I want to fling myself into the sun
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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