Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
