im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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