Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
