And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
