You just made me feel so damn special
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
