letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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