I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
