I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just gift wrapped bread.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
