he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
