the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
