how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
