I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Pooping to opera.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
