dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
