You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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