dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
