they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
