I accidentally had phone sex last night
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
