One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
