i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
