my sisters under your porch take her home
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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