i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
