Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay

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(850): View more from Florida

this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen

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(415): View more from California

My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out

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(386): View more from Florida

you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint

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