I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
