Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
