I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
