Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
