you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
