it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
