first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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