my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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