yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Randomize
